I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's shark week go big or go home
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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