operation harelip BJ is a go
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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