I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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