whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
