best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
