it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
