Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
