Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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