You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
