Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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