The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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