dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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