Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You know, be my cock's hype man.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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