He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
