the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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