is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
