She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
