i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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