I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
