you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
