I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
