I showed him my bush... on skype.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
