Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
