Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
