Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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