He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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