I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
