pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
