something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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