Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
