90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
