okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
BRING THE BAGELS
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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