I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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