I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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