i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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