k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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