I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
