ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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