I look better un-naked...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
