He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
