Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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