At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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