Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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