Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
