do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Someone came in the potted fern
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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