i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
two words...techno handjob
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
