I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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