I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
