All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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