I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
